News From Terre Haute, Indiana

Religion

October 3, 2008

The Joy Lady: Ignorance of the law will be no excuse when we meet Jesus

It seems the defendant, one Mr. A. Mea Culpa, has been charged with breaking Ordinance 15694-C/14: driving too fast while under the impediment of an overly full bladder, resulting in running one red light, ignoring two stop signs, and exceeding three speed limits. Let’s listen in as he pleads his case in court.

“How do you plead, Mr. Culpa?”

“Not guilty, Your Honor.”

“Not guilty? Are you sure? A camera shows you barreling through the red light, a mother pushing her toddler in a stroller says you definitely did not stop at the stop sign, a Boy Scout swears you shot through the intersection of a street he was trying to help a little old lady cross, and you were clocked at going 30 in a 25, 50 in a 30, and 70 in a 55. What makes you think you are not guilty?” A. Mea Culpa looked at his lawyer for help. All he got was a shrug of the shoulders and a roll of the eyes. Culpa was on his own.

“Well, Your Honor, it was like this. I didn’t know the light was red. I didn’t really see it at the time. I was thinking about my bladder.”

“Your bladder?”

“Yes, Your Honor. My bladder was so full I didn’t see the traffic signal. In fact, I didn’t even know one was there. It was my first time traveling that way, you see. I was taking a short-cut, for obvious reasons.”

“Mr. Culpa, just because you didn’t see the signal does not mean the signal should have been ignored.”

“But I didn’t ignore it, Your Honor. I just didn’t see it.”

“No matter, you’re guilty of running the red light. What about the stop signs?”

“Like I said, Your Honor. It was a new route for me. I was concentrating on getting home in such a hurry – remember the too-full bladder? – and I didn’t see either the young mother or the helpful Boy Scout. So, I’m not guilty of ignoring the stop signs.”

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