An insult to all the monkeys
Shame! Shame! Shame! On you, Sen. John McCain, for your Unsweet Tweet: “So Ahmadinejad wants to be first Iranian in space — wasn’t he just there last week?” (Referring to the monkey shot into space by the Iranians.)
Madly rushing to the defense of President Ahmadinejad (“the foremost anti-Semite on the planet”), Rep. Justin Amash (Michigan) tweeted back: “Maybe you should wisen up and not make racist jokes.”
Rep. Amash, you’ve got it all wrong.
Sen. McCain insulted monkeys. Our closest relatives happen to be very intelligent mammals. Can we say as much for the president of Iran?
Our good cousins love, nurture, and care for their young, not unlike our species.
At least one and a half million children perished in Auschwitz and the many other Death Camps of Nazi Germany. But that didn’t seem to register with the world’s most famous Holocaust denier. Nor did the rest of the 6 million victims.
So, Sen. McCain, on behalf of all the monkeys of the world, I do believe you owe them an apology.
— Saul Rosenthal
Are they serious about scissors?
In a new training video, the Department of Homeland Security has just come up with the most amazing idea. When faced with a killer intent on shooting as many people as possible, arm yourself with a pair of scissors.
Why hasn’t someone thought of this before? I’m sure that facing a second-grade teacher armed with a pair of those little plastic scissors with a blunt end and metal inserts designed to prevent kids from cutting themselves will strike fear in the heart of every would-be mass killer.
This is such a wonderful idea and will save so many lives it should be adopted by our government. All government buildings should be turned into gun-free zones and all government security should be required to turn in their guns and be issued little plastic scissors. This advice from the DHS should prove to all those doubters that the government of the United States takes its job of protecting the lives of its citizens very seriously.
— Robert Ledermann
West Union, Ill.