Published: September 05, 2008 07:03 pm            

FLASHPOINT: Selfish parents don’t give kids enough positive attention

I am writing in regard to the letter that Bill Carter had in the paper about the lack of discipline at home. He was referring to the National Night Out that they held in Terre Haute and how he and his family witnessed some bad actions of several young people.

This country was set up and intended by God to have the family life in each and every home and to raise up the children with love and discipline and intended to have two parents in the home helping and working together in this matter. I have heard several teachers remark that you can sure tell the difference in their students who have love and discipline at home and the ones who don’t have that. And this goes right along with the actions that the Bill Carter family witnessed at the public outing and sad to say you see more and more of this.

They say in this day and age not to whip your child, just give them a time out. Well, you know my generation and all those before mine were given whippin’s when we did things we weren’t supposed to and we all grew up just fine and became loving parents to our children. Yes, there’s a big difference in a whippin’ and a beating, so whippin’s don’t hurt children at all.

I witnessed two things at Wal-Mart that broke my heart and these things stem from things like the Bill Carter family witnessed at the outing as he said some people just dropped off their children and were not even there with them to see what they were doing. I was waiting on a cart to do my shopping and the woman ahead of me had two children with her — a boy and girl of 5 and 7, would say — and she was needing to exchange something so she was waiting on the door person to put a sticker on the sack she had and the children said something to her and she went off like a time bomb and told them in a rather loud, not-to-nice voice while she was throwing her hands up in the air to go find some games to play or find something to do in the store and let her shop.

So off go two small children to do whatever they wanted in the store all on their own. I happened to notice the lady was well-groomed and had her toe nails painted and fingernails painted and had apparently found time for herself to either do that or had it done. Where were the kids while this was being done? Yet when her kids just talked to her she didn’t want any part of them bothering her.

I am a woman, but what I see from so many of the moms of this generation they are all about themselves and very selfish and it’s all about “ME”. So many of them want children, but once they get them they don’t have any patience with them at all and don’t want the father in their life anymore and want to do everything on their own. Then who suffers? It’s the children.

Yes, I know it takes a lot to raise a family and some women have to work to help out, but why is a new house, new car, pool, the whole nine yards more important than your children?

This doesn’t apply to everyone, but it does a lot of them anymore. It’s hard to balance a job and a family but it CAN be done when the women aren’t selfish and can still have a career and a good family life too, but so many now just want to put the career No. 1 and put the family on the back burner. Sad to say, the children suffer in these cases. I know there are some good single moms out there and trying their best, so I commend you. But you know who you are.

The other thing I witnessed as I was leaving the parking lot was a mom screaming and yelling terrible profanity at her child who was probably 8 or 9 and he was in the back seat and she was saying such terrible words that children shouldn’t even hear until they reach adult age. She was just ranting and raving and didn’t care what she said to him and he was crying so it was sad to see. I have noticed this a lot anymore, too.

We’re not perfect, but God gave us that motherly instinct and we carry our children so close to our hearts, so moms, you had all those years growing up and doing your thing and then when your children are all grown and gone from home, which that time gets here before you realize, you will have your time again. So please, let your motherly instinct come out that God gave you and love and take time with those precious children and be nice to them. I know that a lot of you are, but there are so many who aren’t and it shows up in the children’s life as a child and an adult.

So the next time you go to yell at that child or talk mean to them or push them away and feel you don’t have any time for them, think about the idea that they didn’t ask to be born. How can you mistreat your own flesh and blood?

You may not be the center of attention anymore like your child is, but you will be able to do just fine and you will be rewarded someday when your child becomes an adult and you see how the discipline paid off and how well they respect other people and how well they do in life and you will know that your child wasn’t one of the ones that the Bill Carter family witnessed at the outing. You can be proud of your child and you will get the credit then, so it’s the same as being the center of attention, if that’s what means so much to you.

Come on, people, wake up and see how so many of the young people are growing up and raising themselves and having no discipline in the home and no time spent with them and no love shown and like Bill Carter said, that’s why our jails are so full of young people. It starts at home in so many cases. You’re who your children look up to, so please be examples for them and to them.

I have had a few young men hold the door open for me at various places since I am older now, and I tell you that blesses my heart to see such respect. So there’s still some good young folks out there who have caring and loving parents, but I also see so much other disrespect that shows that side too — so love your kids, teach them manners and morals and discipline and give them your time and don’t make them feel they wish they weren’t born.

— Karen Dailey

Marshall, Ill.

        

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